JULIAN SMITH - Racist Coffee

PS: Eliza just left for school again. Another semester apart. In her honor here's a video that Rebecca showed us, but we quote all the time ha!

Bebo, Snow, and Mini Muffins

"Here goes nothing, Here goes everything, Gotta reach for something or you'll fall for anything, Take a breath, Take a step, What comes next God only knows, But here goes.."

Oh Bebo, you continue to speak to me. God has inspired such beautiful music through you, and I am such a grateful recipient! My first experience with you Mr. Norman was at 10 years old:

 My mom decided to spend our spring break on a road trip up north visiting all the prestigious schools my brother might possibly need to apply to. That was back in the day of cassette tapes baby! Ha! It was cool to have a cassette tape in your car. That was way before the fancy pants CD player...and now ipods and satellite radio have taken over - but! This story revolves around the old school tape my brother had. A girl at summer camp gave him a tape of Bebo Norman, Ten Thousand Days. I remember begin stretched out on the van seats passing through one state after another, listening to the melodic thumps from the tires and the interstate concrete zooming by underneath us. Over and over again we sang along to "The Hammer Holds," "A page is Turned," and "Selwood Farm." We visited 10 states in 10 days that week! Tanner never did go to MIT or Princeton, or Harvard, but we sure had a blast anyway.

Since then I've over played your "Sunday" love song (that was brilliant when you incorporated God, on our day of rest, and true love... kissing! when you sang "it just feels right kissin on a sunday" AMEN haha!), and "I Will Lift My Eyes", and so many more because you sir, you have character enough to write deep, intricately phrased, meaningful lyrics regardless of a catchy tune and chorus. Thanks! This little letter to you is inspired by my day of being snowed in the house, reading, eating, and thinking. Your music has encouraged a lot of that over the 10 years I've been listening to you.

Snow.
This too, has caused me to stop, quite literally, and enjoy a day of simple living. So far today I woke up at 7, hit the snooze button multiple times, even though I was still planning on driving Eliza back to school. It took awhile but finally wrapping my robe around me, I went to assess the travel situation outdoors. I found Dad, he said it was super slick outside and I proceeded to return to my warm cozy bed. 8:30 I met with God, read some in Psalms and some in Acts. Then I fixed myself four scrambled eggs and a large glass of grape juice. Whew I was stuffed so I returned to the recliner and started reading what Elisabeth Elliot had to say about Discipline. This particular chapter was The Discipline of Possession. Before the chapter was finished I got a nice nap in! But I do love her. Some how, I feel a special connection to her. Maybe like Julie did to Julia Childes in the movie "Julie and Julia." Elisabeth is a woman I consider to be a role model for me.

Speaking of "Julie and Julia" it makes me want to fix myself a big plate of Bruchetta! YUM. There is a scene in the movie where Julie melts a huge slab of butter in a plan, then fries to golden perfection four thick slices of bread and tops them with sauted peppers, tomatoes, basil, and fresh cheese! That, ladies and gentlemen, is a true piece of heaven. I made it one day last fall with Stu, in the kitchen at Cherokee Cove, on a slow Sunday afternoon.
Butter. One day my own house will smell of that warm comforting scent that only occurs when you cook, fry, or bake butter! oh what a smell! Mmmm

This house currently smells like pumpkin and cinnamon, with a hint of honey and...butter! Eliza just finished her second batch of Pumpkin Muffins which will be gone...probably by tomorrow morning :)

I was planning again. I still haven't figured out how much planning I can do with out over stepping the "Letting Go" boundaries, and the "Trust" boundaries too. But I know that despite my plans, God ultimately plans my days. Elisabeth Elliot wrote:

"In the lives of Samuel, David, Jeremiah, Matthew, and Saul of Tarsus, as well as in many others in the Bible, there is evident the strong sense of being known, of being taken over, possessed, called, acted upon.... Discipline is the believer's answer to God's call. It is the recognition, not of the solution to his problems or the supply of his needs, but of mastery. God addresses us. We are responsible - that is, we must make a response." (Discipline. pg 16,17)

I know that really all I need is to be mastered by God. But I do have a plan. A directional plan. I know I want to major in English/creative writing and minor in Art. I'm really done looking at college as a means to supply life long friends and a crazy social life. Really, all I want is a degree so that more opportunities can be made available and God can use my college degree to take me places other wise closed off. I did consider just working like I've been doing the past semester, but that's rather limiting for my stage of life right now. God can take me anywhere of course, so we'll see!

So now, with my pumpkin muffins in hand, and my stretchy pants on, and my fuzzy blanket ready, I am about to watch Sleepless in Seattle. Meg Ryan is by far one of my all time favorite actresses and today seems just a completely appropriate type of day to watch it on VHS! Old school! ha!

XOXOXO

She jumped into my storage bin and wanted a push around the house.

 I love my sister. Even when I'm grumpy and un-amused she still! always knows how to make me laugh!:) The other night she was apparently on a high from her flu meds. I was feeling very feverish and not really wanting any kind of physical touch - well! Eliza, stumbling around, thought other wise saying "Oh you're just grumpy because you just really want a HUG! hug me!" She's so darn cute so I did. ha! She also told me the lap top sounded as loud as the opera... okay! She rambled for quite some time that night. Here are some pics of some fun sister time. I love her silliness...a lot!

Betty decided to get a leg workout and pushed Eliza, in her bin, back to our room

A litte hyper? Yes..I walked out of the room and found sweat pants red heels and pig tails. Shes a stunner!

 It's been snowing for the past few days, and since Eliza and I have just about been healed from the Flu I found Eliza outside the kitchen window building her little mini snow man.

She was working up to putting a head on that huge base :)

Awwwww

I'm Up!

And....I'm down ha!

Snowball!

Clearing the snow off my board...didn't really work haha

I tried to catch some air...But I ended up bruising my butt. Pavement really hurts ha

The puppies! Ally and Bailey

Cute little Puppy Nose

Two Thousand Eleven

"Then Job answered the Lord and said, 'I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted. 

Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?

Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.

Hear, now, and I will speak;

I will ask You, and You instruct me.

I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear,

But now my eye sees You;

Therefore I retract,

And I repent in dust and ashes."

-Job 42:1-6

The word(s) of the year for 2011:

JOY

LETTING GO

TRUST

Now usually people can summarize their meaningful word of the year in....one word. However, for me it's a combination of words that represent what God has taught me over the past week. I mean, in her movie, Julia Roberts even had three words for her year of traveling... except she turned to Hinduism instead of God, and she didn't really live a morally upstanding life... But! Eat, Pray, Love. Three nice, pretty words. Mine, well, mine aren't that concise. 

First Joy: my friend during a prayer time this week in Colorado shared with me that she felt like this year would be a year of Joy for me. Joy in the Lord. I'm naturally a pretty cheerful person...but Joy, that's pure. That's an essences that flows from your soul and is found when one fellowships daily with the Lord. 

Second Letting Go: this came to me when, in the Prayer Chapel, I sat alone with God. I was in turmoil and I distinctly remember hearing, Let Go. My dad and my sister also counseled me with those same words. 

Third Trust: this correlates with Letting Go, but I need to say Trust God to myself to reinforce my resignation of my will to Him. I even have a box which I painted and inside I put the majors things I worry about, and in leaving those things to God by placing them inside the box, I have a visual reminder to Trust God.

 I think, because a lot of huge changes have occurred in the last 6 years I copped by planning. To feel secure and really, in control, I constantly planned out the next few steps for my life. There was a curious trend though that became very apparent to me. None of the plans ever came to fruition. This reality didn't really hit me until about three days ago. During a worship and prayer time one night at Spring Canyon I realized my plans were pointless, my stress was unnecessary, and my security is found in God, not my strength. Thus, through many tears I now understand what Job is saying :'Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Hear, now, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You instruct me.'

I will ask God, He will instruct me. Corina shared an analogy with me. When I try to tell directions to a friend I don't just say okay start in Blowing Rock, and end up at my house in Boone. I give them step by step, turn left here, drive on this road then turn right etc etc. God doesn't instruct His children all the same way. Some people I've tried to compare myself to have been given all the directions at once from God. For me, I don't even know my destination. Only that I can hold God's hand in the darkness and right at the moment I need to turn, He will tell me. 

In 2010 I thought I had Joy, but I was really so confused about my long term direction that I worried more than anything. I found contentment in the tasks God gave me, but I would also try to look ahead and discern through the darkness what to do next month. I know now that Joy is experienced by not fretting about tomorrow. Listening to God for the task of the day and leaving the planning to Him. Joy is experienced even more once I have learned to let go.

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighter! hoo ha!

Six Years.... feeling: BLAH
no emotion, apathetic? numb

Two day ago I was concerned with the annual Christmas tummy ache. Gross. As a friend said "I am currently pregnant with a food baby."

Christmas day we had lunch with Betty's family (nap) and dinner with my Aunt! At least at her house we played Wii and boxed and played tennis and bowled. Ha that was fun! And we had a White Christmas! It was beautiful.  However, on the way home I discovered a new pet peeve of mine. These pet peeves usually concern the car.
 #1) I hate it when people tell me how to drive. I just do. Even if I make a mistake, leave me alone! (but see my frustration at people is usually checked by...something inside me, I don't know what.. so, I usual clamp up, and say nothing in reply. but if you know me, you know I am especially angry when I don't talk...)
#2) Squeaky wind shield wipers. I will turn the wipers on and off manually just to make sure there is enough water on the wind shield to insure smooth, squeak-less wiping. haha it's stupid.
#3) Malfunctioning wipers. The drive home Christmas night was squeaky and dangerous because smack dab in the middle of my line of sight was a huge melty, snowy blob! I had to hunch over (food baby and all) the whole way home because the annoying wipers weren't wiping! sheesh. Whatever. That concludes pet peeves section number 1.

I am in love with Jack Black. He is just so funny to me and if you haven't seen The Holiday, you should! Also, I got Kung Fu Panda from Eliza this Christmas...I am in heaven! haha, not really, but! I feel asleep watching it last night and judge me if you want because one of my favorite movies ever is a cartoon animation, I still loooooove it. :) The Kung Fu Fighting song music video was disappointing though. I have no desire to watch legit Kung Fu children preforming their forms and sparing like master pros. ha! I think I'll make my own haha.
"There is no charge for Awesomeness....or Attractiveness!" - Po, the Panda (aka Jack Black)

My parents payed for a plane ticket out to Colorado for New years as our Christmas present. I am very excited because we leave tomorrow for a whole week and! I will board for the first time EVER on a real mountain. wooooo

I think my most cherished present though is something Eliza made me. Hah it's the cutest thing in all the land! She bought a paint your own piggy bank kit from Wal-Mart and painted me a college fund piggy bank. Decked out in purple and yellow, green and orange, with adorable blue eyes and yellow eye lashes :) I named her Louella. Lou Lou, for short. She will be helping me reach my dreams and goal in 2011 and beyond. She is here to inspire me to keep working hard. To help remind me that real life is not always really fun and to keep me going. To bad she's an inanimate object, or else she would be my BFF. I'll take her picture soon with my spiffy new camera Auntie gave me.

We went sledding yesterday! That helped to distract me for a while. I always want to talk about it, but I never want to be a debbie downer and be a kill joy. So, it's my fault, but I end up getting impatient and annoyed and sad because I didn't share my feelings about the anniversary of my mom's death and no one seems to have a clue. Well, they dont of course! So after a fun day with Mac and Jackson and Jamie sledding and eating food in Siberia, aka: Boone. We went to see The Tourist. Don't waste your time, or money! I thought it was super slow and it needed either more comedy or more action. I kept waiting for something explosive to happen. Instead we made fun of Angelina Jolie and her awkward bony hips swinging from side to side, or should I say jutting out from side to side, attempting to look sexy. That girl needs some more meat on her bones - can I get an Amen?! So then, at home, Ben and Jerry came to the rescue. As well as sleep. Today is a new day, and I have a lot of things to accomplish in honor of my mother, and a lot of dreams to realize because of her legacy. Here we go.





Quiet Time Excerpt:
"God understands its way. And He knows its place. For He looks to the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens. When He imparted weight to the wind and meted out the waters by measure, when He set a limit for the rain and a course for the thunderbolt. Then He saw it and declared it; He established it and also searched it out, and to man He said "Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; And to depart from evil is understanding." - Job 28:22-28

Phasing Out

The NANNY DIARIES installment number two:

This was the last full day of babysitting...

I am so thankful to have a room to myself tonight, all the girls are upstairs and the boys are across the hall.

The most stressful part was the snow element..and the ice. The driveway has given me about 187thousand heart attacks this week...i have developed the skill of pretending to be calm, to ignore the fact that the car is slipping close to the cliff-side of the driveway, and to stifle the gasps, screams, exclamations and really I just worked on my straight, poker face. 

I know I want kids...but not for a long while.

John drove me on the four wheeler to the mailbox today. Eight miles total, and yes I have embraced how red neck that just sounded. He is a good driver, my little 13 yr old chaufer...at one point since the roads are switch backs and sharp curves and the driveway gets very little sun he said "HAHA Woahh! I was completely out of control! haha Awesome!" to which I said " Sweet! haha!" oh wait... "and we're laughing!" I didn't know if I should be laughing.. but! it was fun..i won't lie.

John also pulled me up the driveway from the Conference center as I held onto a rope attached the the four wheeler. EPIC! I do have two bruised, narly knees to show for it...and a ripped pair of board pants. I was glad the roar from the engine smothered the sounds of my involuntary shouts/screams. It def was an adrenaline rush keeping my board from catching icy edges or plowing into deep drifts. Once though I hit a random spot of pavement right as I rounded the turn (to which I rode through excellently! haha) and did my second face plant, this time slamming my knees too and i literally thought I was going to throw up. The frozen left over BBQ Sam and Stu had left me to reheat for the kids had turned out to be more like BBQ soup bc of all the sauce and...well it wasn't really settling well. ANYWAY that was awesome... it was a first for me...I really wanna try wake boarding now

Libby and John were practicing their Proverbs 3 verse they have to memorize. It talks about finding, and seeking wisdom to which supplied a quote of the day: "In my head I had a safari man hacking around in the jungle and he found a big hairy wisdom!" -John

I have a big long list of activities I wish to accomplish this Christmas break! First I must call Jamie, she's finally back from Brazil! Then I have a ice skating outing to arrange, a Nashville road trip to execute, an Elf movie showing to Rachel Barry since she has been deprived her whole life and has never seen this classic! Then I must go caroling! and theres a church Christmas party and la la la this is boring to write about... however Eliza and I will be going to Spring Canyon, Colorado over New years and I can't wait to board out West!

this nanny phase is phasing out... i am sure I will be reflecting on this period of time in the future...for now though i am looking forward to having a few less responsibilities, as immature as that sounds, and throughly enjoying the company of my Boone friends!

Baby, it's Cold outside.

Slowly running out of vegetables.

The first installment of the NANNY DIARIES is in:

This week I am super nanny. (where is TLC?)

I pray to God that I will never be a single mother. (this week, if it were a life time would be a struggle)

I really wish I had more vegetables to support my attempt to regain that girlish figure (from...long ago)

The dog dragged in a dear bone. (Gross)

The sugar cookies actually stayed soft. (and are oh so festive!)

Libby painted my nails red and did dainty little Christmas trees on them. (CUTE! i'm so proud)

The sibling arguments are making me edgy and slightly spacey. It's weird, i AM an air head in general...but I start thinking of how to solve the problem, prevent the discussion from reoccurring and what to say...except then it continues, like  now for instance...they are bickering...i fully understand the statement "You have to chose your battles"

All the snow is beautiful! Except...the next two days for certain will be spent in-doors...no driving or interaction with anyone else... i pray for patience and stamina so they we can all be a big happy family! no negativity and the stir craziness will be minimum!

John, Libby and I went snowboarding again today! That was a highlight. The drifts have to be about 3 feet at the top of the driveway and the layer of ice beneath the snow makes the "slope" nice and fast. The fourwheeler is also an added entertainment because John is perfecting his donut skills ha! Ya know, i would qualify this activity as cross country snowboarding. But..well the lack of poles, that cross country skiers have, puts a damper on things. You get really good and hopping strapped in! (i'm working on my lateral jump thank you very much) haha The four wheeler though is really nice to have around. Tomorrow we have being pulled like wake boarding up the driveway and creating a sick jump.

I made them cinnamon rolls for breakfast, grilled cheese for lunch and chili with salad for dinner. Tomorrow I think we'll have cereal for breakfast, ummmmm grilled cheese for lunch...and hamburgers! for dinner. Then we have more forzen chili soooo that, no doubt, will be served again.

Well its craft time.

Quote of the day "You shouldn't have so many priorities! If you want a 'barbie doll' go buy a barbie doll!" haha it just really made me laugh... Hunter was speaking to John when we were discussing everyones dating options...that is if they were old enough, or aloud to date at this time :) they're sooo cute.

Time to let the dog out...he poops a ton, for being so little he is a legit pooping machine...i'm a little concerned