Mr.D

Here's a story about a kiwi named Darrell.

I had an amazing experience on Thursday afternoon. Our school went into town to do street evangelism. We split into teams of two and we called it "gathering the brothers," instead of evangelism, because evangelism has such negative feelings and fear associated with it. :) So we practiced with each other as we drove there. Most of us planned on walking up to people and asking "Did you know Jesus loves you?" or "Do you know about Jesus?" 

When we arrived I paired off with a German girl Tabea. She and I encountered some people in the grocery store, on the street, and a few of them knew Jesus, a few of them brushed us off, and some of them consented to prayer. All in all the time was challenging and fruitful. Tabea had just finished sharing the gospel with an older farmer and we basically ran beside him to keep up and he completely brushed tabea off as she shared the whole gospel in two minutes. She was so bold! I was speaking to her about her boldness as we started the two block walk to the van, and said "Man, i am so impressed with your boldness! I could never just talk to a hard looking man, that day will come, but not now!" HA! About 30 seconds later a young construction worker turns down the sidewalk towards us and I knew Holy Spirit was telling me to talk to him. So! That day came immediately!:) 

I asked him, as he walked passed me, if he had a second and if I could ask him a question. So I asked him if he knew about Jesus. He said no. So I went off! I rambled off for about 90 seconds about the perfect world God had made, the perfect humans he created and how humans rebelled against God. Because of that Satan and Sin came into the world, as well as Hell. And hell was not made for us, and so Jesus had to come and pay for all the bad things we do so we could be without penalty and not have to go to hell. And if we give our lives to Jesus and call him Lord we are saved from hell and can be made whole with God.

 I then asked him what he thought and he said "Well, thats a pretty gold story. That's good news, my buddy just died today." Tabea and I almost cried! You could tell he was trying to keep his emotions in check and so we quickly prayed for him and his family and friends. While praying for him i felt like i should offer him a Bible. So I told him how the Bible is the most precious of my possessions and its filled with adventure, and poetry and history and the story of Jesus and he can reread it over and over again, and its so powerful. He clutched it so close to him. He had tears in his eyes. 

Tabea asked if he wanted to ask Jesus into his life and make Him lord. at that moment he saw a buddy of his so he said Yes, and I said would you like to repeat after us? He said "no, can i do it at home?" To which I replied " well, now is better! Seize the day!" but he wasnt persuaded and we felt pretty sure that his buddy made him uncomfortable. Anyway! The power of Jesus' story, His name, is so great! It came at the perfect time for this guy struggling with grief and we prayed so much for his heart. I gave him my bible and told him to email me if he ever had any questions. 

I was so humbled. if only I would ask that simple question more often. "Do you know about Jesus?" If only I could shed this fear of man. It's a matter of ignoring the voice of the enemy saying "nope, its not the day to talk to them, they're too busy and you dont need to interrupt them." What a lie. No one is ever too busy for ETERNAL SALVATION. 

Anyway! That was something so amazing and we are continuing to pray for Darrell! You should too.

Go no further.

Okay y'all
Its time. I've been in procrastination land long enough
I'm about to give you a glimpse into the events that have now forever marked my life...

DEPORTATION
from New Zealand, Land of the Long White Cloud

I joked around at home about how legit it would sound to be deported from another country...
its not as romantic as its cracked up to be!
Ok, maybe it would be if I had a significant other with me...but being alone make its more traumatizing than anything! HA

I dont really want to bore you with all the itty bitty travel details. The good stuff, that you will most likely find entertaining, is in the aftermath of the final word from the Immigration Officer.

The events in order:
1.5 hr flight Charlotte to San Fran
2. 6 hr layover, dinner in San Fran with Nate.
3. 13 hr flight from San Fran to Sydney.
4. 5 hour layover in Sydney
5. 5hour flight Sydney to Christchurch.
6. 4 hour interview which led to INTERROGATION in the Christchurch airport.
7. Final Decision: Entry Not Allowed into Country.
8. Immediately handed over to POLICE CUSTODY.
9. Flight to San Fran, the next day, out of the country.

Well! Im going to break down Event #8 for you...its loaded.

How shall I keep this short? I dont know.

It was hour 36 since I'd showered, changed clothes, or layed down horizontally to sleep.
The immigration officers were very cordial, and thorough and tried to help me out, but evidence was stacked against me that I had not taken the professional advice of an immigration officer in the states and decided to enter the country anyway, to the demise of my trip.

Like I said, the final decision was made and I got a piece of paper handed to me which I did not read because, quite frankly, i was shaking, in shock, giant tears spilling out of my eyes, and my lower lip quivering uncontrollably, to my dismay.

Here is what the paper read:

"To the Officer in Charge
Airport Police Station
Christchurch International Airport

The above named person has been refused entry permission to enter New Zealand having arrived on ____flight at ___time and ____ date. As a result this person is liable for turn around and is liable to be arrested and detained: refer sections 115 and 309 (a) of the Immigration Act 2009.

I now require you to arrest and detain this person in custody under section 313 of the Immigration Act 2009 in order tob place him or her on the first available craft leaving New Zealand.

Pursuant to section 327(2) of the Immigration Act 2009, you are required to inform RUBY HODGES:
-At the time of the arrest, of the reason for the arrest, and that the arrest does not relate to a criminal matter, unless it is in all the circumstances impracticable to do so;

-that he or she may contact a lawyer....

-of the maximum duration of the detention (96 hours).

If you are not in uniform, you must produce your badge or other evidence of being a constable.

Arrangements are being made to remove this person from New Zealand on the first available flight." Etc ETc ETC

OH MY HEAVENS.

So basically, what was happening inside my head at that point was absolute distress. Why? Well, yes, I didn't read the paper, but at that same moment two GIANT police officers both over 6 feet tall, over 200lbs and as thick as a truck, came charging in the room. They are accustomed to have to deport people daily, but most of them are on criminal charges. Thus they stride into the room with all their rightful commanding authority and I was stunned! The seriousness of the matter off loaded on me at that moment and I just couldn't handle it anymore.

The kind immigration officer made me sit down and got me water, told the policemen to go on dinner break, and then went to go find my YWAM friends and leaders who were waiting to pick me up and take me back to base.

Oofta. That was a rough few minuets for me!
Basically what happened after that was the policemen, realizing I was a very polite young woman, who has made some paperwork mistakes, were very kind, humorous and gracious with me.
They allowed my friends to be with me for about 30 minuets while I changed clothes and took off all my jewelry and gave them all my possessions to hold in the office until the next morning when I was to fly out.

Then, after being encouraged by my lovely friends, I walked in between two giant police officers, placed in their car, and transported to the Police Station holding cell for the night.

On the ride over there Buzz, the biggest of the policemen was so amiable, and he was a great comical conversationalist. He asked me about traveling to India, and poignant questions about how safe I felt there. He asked me what I wanted to do with my life, if I wanted to keep working in missions for a while and I told him of my dream to own a hostel/bed and breakfast. He flat out told me, Oh, you dont need to go back to school and get a business degree, You're great with people! Just go for it!"
That little comment struck a chord. Thank you random police officer for speaking a profound statement into my future! Wow, those Kiwi policemen are so well rounded, deep fellows.:)

Anyway, this was when the walk of humility descended on the scene...
I was escorted to a temporary holding cell while the officers went in and briefed the station officers on duty of my...case. This cell was totally inescapable and yet very much like a fish bowl. I had no idea where to look because 8 police officers were eyeing me on one side, and there was a garage on the other side, and on the inside i was having frightful visions of crazy criminals being locked up with me and scaring the wits out of me! Now i realize and I should have just practiced my hand stands or done some cartwheels, just to lighten the mood!

(later on in the overnight cell I did realize just how jacked I would get if i was kept there for a long time, because there is NOTHING to do to entertain yourself...except workout! so i did a little workout...some pushups and squats. I felt hardcore inmate style... ok not really)

AHHH
Anyway, they come get me out, make me take off my shoes and sign some paperwork. There was one lady officer adn 5 station officers looking me up and down...they are ALL jacked. I was intimidated. But the next thing i know the young guy in charge was bringing me 3 blankets...they were more like canvas sheets...and offering his left over pizza to me. That was a very nice gesture.

Well...they locked me up.I was so jet lagged that I layed down on the plastic mat, with a plastic pillow and covered up with 3 blankets because it was about 40 degrees outside and I was quite cold...I rolled over so as not to take in the fact that my windows had shades that I couldnt control and the officers could look in at any time, and that there was the toilet, 3 feet away from me with a malfunctioning water fountain on top which was so spaztic i couldnt get it to stop spewing for about 60 seconds and there was a puddle on the floor. HA!

Oh, and if this doesnt sound crazy enough...i was OF COURSE on my period and every single officer knew it! They had to itemize every thing I wanted to bring into my holding cell for the night. They were kind and let me take a pair of fuzzy warm socks, and my Bible, but other than that they recorded my pads and tampons and I just shook my head like "Lord have mercy! GET ME CHOCOLATE!!!" hahaha

Anyway - I slept through the night fine. I woke up and immediately started crying. I had no idea how to get home and didnt realize that I was not going to have to pay for the flight back to the states. I had not a lot of extra money and I felt it a sure sign that i wasnt meant to come back and staff after all.

Thats when I was trying to read in Philippians and be encouraged...it was amazing:

Philippians 4:4-7

English Standard Version (ESV)

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. ⁵ Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; ⁶ do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I made a supplication to God at that moment - Please let all my flight expenses be free...or very cheap, if I'm meant to get back here.

Ha HA! They were all paid for my immigration, and my YWAM friends in California who helped me get from San Fran to LA, and now a very generous man of God on staff in New Zealand is paying for my return ticket once my visa comes back!!! GOD IS LOVING

Well...there is a lot more to this story..but I will finish with how humbled I had to become to handle being escorted around the airport by giant police men...and one had to fly me from Christchurch to Auckland and thank goodness he changed into civilian clothing so people wouldn't freak out when they saw me! He was rather cute... 

Then the Auckland airport police were very kind and comical as well! I think I was a needed break to there usual scumbag routine. Haha, one guy talked to me about his wife's shoe collection! Then one asked me about my religion gave me 3 magazines to look at and 2 juice boxes! :) And finally they needed my holding cell for some real criminals who were caught in the airport and so the Sargent over the airport has me sit in his office and his secretary fixed me a delicious homemade scone and they teased me that they'd put me to work for them! It felt a little bit like a dream!
But not a dream come true..more like a, this is the most ridiculous situation, no one would ever make this up in real life, what the heck is happening, kind of a dream!:)

Anyway, The Lord pressed on my heart that I was being a great witness for him because as it says in Philippians:
Let your reasonableness me known to everyone.

I believe that is why I was shown such a favor and gentleness. Thank you Jesus for the spirit you placed in me and for the transforming power it has to work through me to influence any situation I am in!
Hallelujah!

That will do for now folks. I got back to California, like i mentioned, with no extra cost to myself and I immediately re-applied for the Religious Workers Visa. Please be praying that it will arrive in the mail TODAY! :)

Be Shaken

I HAVE SET THE LORD
ALWAYS BEFORE ME
BECAUSE HE IS AT MY
RIGHT HAND, I SHALL
NOT BE SHAKEN. Ps 16:8


I'd say over the past couple of months I have felt emotionally shaken, quite deeply, at times.
But according to this psalm, i am not going to be terribly shaken when I set the Lord, and His beauty, and salvation, and commands, always before me.

What has shaken me up? well...

Hampi, India, my good friends Anil and R.
We prayed with them every night. We prayed for healing for their ailments, for miracles for their family sick at home, and we prayed for peaceful nights of rest.
Some mornings they would report of their amazing sleep, and that their headache was gone!
Other times we'd see them worse off, and there was nothing I could do physically to comfort their hearts or fix a deformed hip. My heart would break every time I was praying for them and compassion was all I could give away. Compassion, love and Jesus.

Saying goodbye to R

Kolkata, India street boys.
They capture your heart when they engage you in broken english. They make you laugh with their silly antics and songs. They teach you how to play their board games and then laugh at you when they brutally destroy you every time!
Some are so intelligent, and have beautiful spirits about them. Some are weak, destroyed by sniffing glue and abandonment. There was nothing I could do but pray, speak out life giving scripture and be an example of pure love.

Kolkata, India Mother Teresa House "Shanti Dan."
There was hope within the walls of the Mother Teresa compound of women with special needs. There was hope but I was still struck with the immensity of work, the lives that are handicapped and then the beautiful workers who are offering a better quality of life through self sacrifice. It stirs you to see selflessness be so consistent and preserving.

Queenstown, New Zealand
In shock, walking around on no particularly special day, I was struck with the cloud of selfishness that hangs so thickly around the minds of travelers, business men, and locals alike. The transition from 3rd world to 1st world is severe...at least for me. For me it was hard to not be angry and impatient. Money, pets, clothes, luxury items, they all began to bother me and upset my heart. We truly have no idea how to be generous, how to be selfless, how to be meek and humble in ALL things. There is something in me that never would've been awakened to that if I had never traveled. Perspective people. It makes you a better person, a better Jesus follower.

Queenstown Hill View

I still wrestle with materialism, with idolatry and pride. That will never change, the wrestling part. However, I am more and more joyful knowing that I have HOPE. I hold hope in my mind, in my heart. The greatest mystery of all time is that Christ is living in ME right now. Christ is living in US, who believe in Him, for ever and always.

TO THEM GOD CHOSE TO MAKE KNOWN HOW GREAT AMONG THE GENTILES ARE THE RICHES OF THE GLORY OF THIS MYSTERY, WHICH IS CHRIST IN YOU, THE HOPE OF GLORY. - Col 1:27

God told me

God gave me Psalm 16 for this new season.

This new school of DTS students coming to Oxford, New Zealand. A new preparation for outreach..hopefully back to friends in Asia... and new lands

This new time of learning and growing and being RUBY and hosting God's presence.

He told me to write more. 

So here is my blessed little Psalm and... more writing:)

Psalm16 

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.

² 

I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;

    I have no good apart from you.”

³ 

As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,

    in whom is all my delight.^[b]

⁴ 

The sorrows of those who run after^[c] another god shall multiply;

    their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out

    or take their names on my lips.

⁵ 

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;

    you hold my lot.

⁶ 

The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;

    indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

⁷ 

I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;

    in the night also my heart instructs me.^[d]

⁸ 

I have set the Lord always before me;

    because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

⁹ 

Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being^[e] rejoices;

    my flesh also dwells secure.

¹⁰ 

For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,

    or let your holy one see corruption.^[f]

¹¹ 

You make known to me the path of life;

    in your presence there is fullness of joy;

    at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Question Mark

This week another year is added to my life…… say what?

yes i am going to be 22. Isn't that a cute number? I don't know how I'm going to feel at the end of being 22 years old because I can look back over other years and describe it fairly well in a word or phrase.

For example:

9- Exciting (i flipped a four wheeler, thought I'd go to the olympics for horse back riding!)

11 - SUPER FUN (i won a county wide art contest, I thought I'd be the first woman in the major leages baseball HA)

12 - Awkward

13 - Out of Control and Tramatised

15 - Insecure and Happy go Luckyish

16 - Exploring!

18 - Stretched

19 - Real world of working, shocker!

20 - Brave

21 - Bold?

I say bold "question mark" because some of this year was just stepping out into a big unknown adventure and not really having boldness exuding from my heart, mind, and soul… my voice frequently got caught in my throat. 

I've felt God's hand guiding me into His heart for my life, and through that empowering me to be Bold when circumstances arose. I was BOld in spirit to step into a leadership experience where all my weaknesses were displayed for all to see in DTS and where I was terribly flawed and self centered. Yet God was showing me what I really need, and that sometimes the things i believe i really really need aren't things that i ever need.

 I realized how i believed that I needed verbal affirmation and recognition from people around me when really, if i'm not serving and leading for God alone I shouldn't even be doing it. If Im doing something so that someone will acknowledge my achievement or sacrifice than I am seeking a selfish gain and loving someone in a life sucking way. It just means that i manipulate the situation to insure love and acceptance because of the serving, cooking, cleaning etc. Seeking that kind of approval is in the same category as working out all the time just to be accepted physically. It's seeking the same gain and attention and signs that I am valuable and worthwhile. I just sifted my tactics, unconsciously, from convincing myself that working out all the time will earn me acceptance and value, to serving well, cooking really good food, and anticipating peoples needs will give me value.  In actuality I am SO valuable and SO worthy of Gods love that He reminded I don't have to care for anyone in order to be loved. Jesus died so that I can receive the healing he gained through suffering, I can gain acceptance through his rejection etc etc. 

ANyway! 21 was one heck of a ride… I went to Canada, India, New Zealand again made new friends, made heaps of mistakes, got really scared, and really joyful, and strong. 

So this is a cheese ball reflection and now I guess I can step into 22 with a fun expectation of what twists and turns Jesus has for me as a nice young adult. Looks like I'll be back in NZ for shizzle. 

mmkay, sweet as TTFN.

...That was the Beginning....

What up Buttercup?

Its a little painful to type…just a little, because i have little baby calluses forming on my left hand finger tips from practicing the Guitar! So fun! I crack myself up a lot. The quality of sound is a little iffy…but me and Katie just belt out the songs and since I only know 4 chords the worship songs are pretty abundant and so yea! I've discovered though that whenever I start belting it along with strumming the guitar that its hard to keep the tune and get the rythmn right…and my accent comes out and I get all twangy. HILARIOUS! And I'm completely satisfied with that because Jesus said make a JOYFUL sound to the Lord. Super joyful tonight, I was laughing so hard I cried:) PTL!

Anyway, more about India:

I think I'll go in chronological order here.

It all started in Mumbai… 

As we were about 7 hours away from landing one of the guys on the team got bad food poisoning and was puking his guts out. Having sat beside him, 6 hours later I felt it coming on for me and I was mortified. All I could think about at that time was how we were about the get off a plane in a country none of us had ever been too, and is rather dangerous, poverty striken, and dirty. I was solo leading with lots of responsibility resting on my shoulders and 5 young adults looking to me for positivity, security, and peace. Good thing Jesus was the one doing everything!

I was half sick to my stomach because of the immense amount of unknown ahead and I was trying to surpress stress and fear and be the strong woman everyone needed me to be. At that moment though I was also physically sick and didn't know what was going to happen if I was going to be MIA puking my guts out as we landed and tried to find our contact at 11pm at night. 

Then, a beautiful thing happened. Kevin turned around in his seat and put his big hand on the back of my neck and prayed a simple prayer, half mumbled, and asked God to heal me.

 God did. His hand felt so cool, yet so warm, and so comforting and so amazingly strong, yet gentle and of course it was Jesus' supernatural power flowing to me to rid me of sickness. Within a minute i felt new. 

THen I knew. I knew it wasn't a trip about me calling all the shots and looking after 5 adults..it was God's power. And God was rejoicing at the great adventure ahead, and nothing was overwhelming or terrifying to Him. I sat up with a powerful peace that seeped into my soul. 

Within the first hour of landing in Mumbai, I had already gotten haggled for using a airport attendants cell phone to call our contact, since he was late. The attendant demanded 400 rupees and in response I grinned and said HECK NO! Are you kidding? Thats ridiculous….and searching for the 20 rupees that would have been more than enough, i only had a 100 so HA joke was on me still! But BAM, right outta the gate the team watched intently to see every move I'd make, every reaction to the con men vying for our attention and money..and then little Daniel pops up out of the blue with his YWAM friend Samuel and we were welcomed in. 

I could stop there, but I want to just mention the massive miscommunication that often occurs in India:

 Daniel thought our team had very little money, even though what I actually said to him was I did not have little bills. So they took us to train stations, and we had to run to catch the last train at midnight into a sketchy neighborhood to them try to catch the next cheap trian…and at that point, as we huddled in an alley with our giant backpacks, I pulled out a nice big 1000 rupee bill and their jaws dropped. They promptly hailed two cabs and explained that we would've gone directly to Daniels home if they had known we could afford it…. silly language barriers!

We arrived at Daniels house, at 1am. where we would live for the next 5 days, through New Years. We stayed in their only other room aside from the living room and kitchen. The family of 6 slept in the living room together on mats and we all squeezed into the other room, 5 across, and me at everyones feet. Cozy! More like hot, and buggy. 

Needless to say, that was the grandest way to start an outreach to India. Welcome to India: everything Indian will now be thrown upon you and you will love it, or break!!

So we learned to love it and love each other through the squatty potties and bucket showers and the long evenings at slum churches preaching and singing loudly and being completely stuffed to the MAX with rice and dal and curry. 

I can't think of a more uncomfortable, joyful, colorful, spicy, challenging, frustrating, and full of Holy Spirit power, New Years holiday. :) Yea 2013 was gonna be legit! 

So there. That was the beginning….

God's colorful land

Dear Blog

I liked who I was in India. I like who i am…but lots of things were different for me in India. India made me hold my tounge more, take my woes to Jesus or the journal, and made me realize God's supernatural energy that He bestows on first time rookies. :) I was consistently assertive. I was bold, and secure to the core about who I belonged to. Coming back to the Western culture threw me back some unfortunate old habits. It's time to not  shrink back any more...

Also, India brought out many things that aren't required for thriving in a Western Nation. Asia culture is just crazy. It's dangerous, disrespectful to women, and unorganized. It's colorful in more than the physical aspect!

For me I learned to be self sacrificial… but I didn't do it in a healthy, sustainable way. I laid down my rights, comforts, and desires to put the safety and well being of the team first…but I neglected to give myself the proper time to sit a receive God's goodness and love for me. The same way I was covering the team spiritually, and poured forth encouragments and love over them…which slowly dwindled as time went on and I didn't take care of myself well enough… God has since shared with me that He wants to pour out over me doubly what I poured out…but it's all about the time, people. Time with God Himself. Vital.

I learnt that if He told me to worship and pray before going to bed even though everyone else was asleep that I should do it, otherwise I'd get woken up later and in the dark darkness of the dead of night it would be scarier than it had to be. I was always protected, but when God prompts you, do it then because it will always be easier the first time.

I had to be direct, short, firm, and aggressive at times. Gods angels where definitely backing me up though, because some of those Indian men would never have seen a 5'5'' white woman and listened as well and retreated so promptly, under normal circumstances. I know it was the two fighter angels at both my shoulders that reinforced the words I spoke with authority:) THank you Jesus!

Now i'm processing. SO the posts for a while will be stories, memories, feelings, and photos of India, God's colorful land.

"dont wanna read the book, so i'll just watch the moive"

Not much time to write during this season....but, dont we just enjoy a good movie now a days anyway?
Here's a bit of outreach fun from India...we've been here for almost 3 months now! whoo hoo

January in Photos

Art day at All tribes Cafe

I love Shanti, our Indian Momma (far left)

Like the henna?

Me and Marky

Explore, Pray, Repeat

One day, I wanna be a Super Hero

Goat wrangling hehe

These Goats make me laugh. Good for the soul.