So it's been almost a month since I've blogged. A lot has filled up my time, it's nice! Although I do love to write. But today I'm going to be introspective for a little while. I'll let the goods time roll down the page of another post.
Well, I got excepted to YWAM in Oxford, New Zealand. You would know that if 1)you read the blog avidly or 2) you know me. :) WOOOOOOO!
It's actually taken the last three weeks for it all to soak in. I've begun the process of fundraising....$9000. whoo-ie big numbah. Actually, I have a goal to send out my letters this week. I have work to do before that gets done. But! It will be finished this week!
The thing is, as exciting as the whole thing is... I've recently been sobered by this new adventure. Life will be full of joy when following the Lord, but it's also a serious matter, and the seriousness of real life is setting in. The money isn't too much of a worry. God is never limited by money and I have many testimonies from friends to back that up. Now it's a matter of being wise and creative with my time and resources to allow the money to flow in.
The fact that I'm living out of a back pack for 4 and 1/2 months isn't too daunting either. I just have to whittle my clothes down to a weeks worth and some layers and fit it all comfortably in my pack - i'm kind of excited about the challenge though! haha how few things can I actually live on and feel cute wearing 5 days in a row! :)
But then, we just went on a 16 mile hike on the Appalachian Trail over 2 and 1/2 days and God reeeeally humbled me. I was so sure I would be strong, never out of breath and always funny, and fun to be around. HA! By the second day God had slammed in my face that I am not as strong as I think I am, and that I need to learn patience and perseverance when dealing with people. It was a fun trip all in all, but it was definitely the nessecary wake up call that I needed to get me out of the awesome-DTS-dream-world-that-its-going-to-be -heavenly- and- perfect-all-the-time! I'm very good at making my own ideas reality for myself, instead of being aware of what is actually in front of me.
Last year I was learning how to live in the moment and not yearn and worry, now I'm learning how to be realistic with myself without gettin myself down. Being a dreamer... reality seems like the world is coming to an end and that I should be depressed. But thats totally not true - reality just means that I have to make the most of my situations I guess, and continue to find joy in the Lord. Back packing is not always fun. It rains and clothes get heavy. People get annoying. Your feet fall asleep in your hammock when you're trying to sleep through the night. Don't forget the sweat either! It's enjoyable if you have the right personality, and lets face it, if your in shape too. Basically I have to get in shape between now and October - that is def. high on the priority list bc I really hate wheezing in front of strangers(esp ones with cute accents.) haha
I know that God had GREAT things in store - days like today remind me that I have to push through the "mire" of reality. I can't really muscel through it though, I am acutely aware that God has to help me. He has to help me through my selfishness, my impatience, my grumpiness, my moodiness, my well selfishness.
I am super stoked though! How amazing will it be to travel halfway around the world to talk about Jesus to people I meet hiking through the beautiful mountains of New Zealand?! Yea-ah! Woo! Pray with me though as I prepare. God is definitely molding me, I can feel it. I'm not really resisting it - but it is not comfortable that's for sure. Its a great journey and I pray that I can glorify my Poppa in heaven through the highs and lows.
Whew, told ya I'd be introspective today. Praise Jesus for encouraging friends, family, and a reality in Christ that is far better than anything I can imagine!
