Chubby Bunny

This is Angelo: 

He's my main man. He's the cutest when he's frolicking through the leaves, ears perked up, stumpy tail wiggling, bouncing from pile to pile! I'm pretty sure we're kindred spirits.

This fall has been SO different from what I expected it to be.. and I'm glad! Some highlights:

I sort of have a  knack for cooking mishaps... this is a picture of when I have making icing for a bajillion cupcakes for the sweet 16 party. The powdered sugar went everywhere...

But the cupcakes were super cute!

I have to say, whenever I cook with other people i usually end up telling stories about when I like baked a spoon in some pumpkin bread...or made sugar cookies that tasted like plado... Last weekend I was making a cake for a group at CC with Josh and I was chattering away about some thing ridiculous that happened to me during my baking escapades. It was really fun too because he was brave and through in chili powder and cumin to my batter! then! we made Dr. Pepper icing! This cake was gonna be a beauty! ummm well, we got sorta bored and decided, because John was pressuring us, to add more Dr. Pepper to the PERFECT icing we concocted. baaaad idea... we used the rest of the soda which made it too runny and no amount of powered sugar was coagulating the mixture of butter, sugar and soda. It looked gross haha. well! it can't hurt to put it on the stove! so Josh poured it into a sauce pan and started stirring away...that wasn't really working either. we were getting smores stuff together in the mean time so! we decided to melt some marshmellows in the pan too!! hahaha that did weird things. It turned out that Josh has mixed a bunch of like cocoa powder, chocolate chips, milk..and i don't know what else together earlier. so once the cake cooled we drizzled that on top and scooped a generous amount of vanilla icecream onto the plates. Well! it tasted good! everyone was praising it whew! Then Josh handed me a peice... my first bite was delectable! except...something was crunchy. reeeeally crunchy. okaay. um I though maybe it was freezer burned icecream or something. what ever! chomp chomp, crunch crunch cruch. My next two bites were moist and chocolatey. then the fourth bite was crunchy again! what?! so i proceeded to spit out whatever it was that wasn't supposed to be there...it was egg shell! AHHH for real? i am destined to do SOMETHING to anything i cook. how i was the one to end up with the crunchy nasty peice i dont know! but thank the Lord! haha

GIANT marshmellows! 

Also, we went camping the other night. John, Libby, Chris and I. we all hung our eno's from the rafters. And of course we roasted marsh-mellows! this roasting session was superb haha because! we had GINORMOUS marsh-mellows!!!! it's practically impossible to play chubby bunny! and trust me we all tried:) numerous times...

Libby and I also figured out that sneaking into the pantry(at 9am) and playing Chubby Bunny is the best way to go from depressed and gloomy to doubled over in laughter. it's great therapy. She won, she fit 5 marshmellows in her cute little mouth!

I also have to say that lately john has been a mini counselor to me. Every time we're in Panera Bread, it seems like, we end up discussing my (nonexistent) love life! who knew a 13 yr old boy could be so insightful and encouraging and well...wise, on such matters as dating, the heart, and true love?!! haha he really has said profound things to me, despite me being 6 years his senior. LOVE IT.

Well..I plan to pop out some more posts this week. i've been a little dry lately. ta ta for now!

Robust!

God was First to Say, 'You Are My Friends" - A.W.Tozer - Renewed Day by Day


Greater man hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13


"The idea of the divine-human friendship originated with God. Had not God first said "Ye are my friends" it would be inexcusably brash for any man to say 'I am a friend of God.'


But since He claims us for His friends it is an act of unbelief to ignore or deny the relationship!


Even though radically different from each other, two persons may enjoy the closest friendship that the participants be alike in all things; it is enough that they be alike at the points where their personalities touch. Harmony is likeness at points of contact, and friendship is likeness where hearts merge.


For this reason the whole idea of the divine-human friendship is logical enough and entirely credible. The infinite God and the finite man can merge their personalities in the tenderest, most satisfying friendship. In such relationship there is no idea of equality; only of likeness where the heart of man meets the heart of God!


This likeness is possible because God at the first made man in His own image and is now remaking men in the image that was lost by sin. Perfection lies on God's side but on man's side there are weaknesses of purpose, lack of desire and small faith.


In spite of human frailties we can grow in grace and move progressively toward a more perfect experiential union with God, exercising robust faith in the truths revealed in the Scriptures!"


I really have nothing to say or really add to this. It blew me away the first time I read it,  and I have been rereading it for the past week, mulling over the power in Tozer's words.  If you read the last post you know I have come to a place in my life where the Lord has removed me from the beaten path and with excitement grabbed my hand as He starts a new pace on a new narrow trail.  Yes His excitement is contagious, but I have to admit...I am a bit of an Eyore at times. I think, purely out of ignorance. I just complain when I can't see what's up ahead. I've had to re-teach myself to stop making long term plans. Those always fall through, mostly because I was the leader of those imagined, potential escapades, not God. Today I told someone I wasn't planning beyond the spring semester yet simply because God has taught me to wait for Him..


So on my current path so far.. God is my friend. I love it when Tozer writes: The infinite God and the finite man can merge their personalities in the tenderest, most satisfying friendship. That touches my heart. 


My friends are dear to me. They are also far away from me. God has decided, I think, that this section of "The Kathryn Trail"  (haha, i know it's cheesey) is more of a two person ascent of a ridge line. Can't really see anything except dense trees, with the hope of a beautiful view at the top...and God has me in step behind Him. I know so many of my friends have large groups of people surrounding them daily with joy, encouragement and love. I've decided they're on day hike type thing. Lots of people fellowshipping with each other, the Lord leading the way to the overlook where they'll rejoice together at the beauty and faithfulness of the Lord, but eventually they'll take God's hand singularly and trudge onward. Course all hikes are different, maybe mine will be a day hike excursion soon. If not that's God guidance. 


I also love the combination of words Tozer uses when he says "exercising robust faith in the truths revealed in the Scriptures!" ROBUST - say it out loud! its so fun! I think of.... like Beauty and the Beast! and how the beast was transformed into a handsome ROBUST prince! robust faith, I still have to decided what the looks and feels like. 


So "The Kathryn Trail" has been really strenuous today, so I over and out you little hikers! haha( i think my analogies need some help)


PS: I really enjoyed Tozer's passage too because he used exclamation points after a ton of his profound sentences! Yessss they're my fav!!!

I just want to be with You-ooh-oo, Just want this waiting to be oh-ver-hrrr

Rough Day
I won't lie
Today my mom would've been 62
yea, that sounds old
sadly enough...it been 6 years since we celebrated her birthday in her presence
i hardly remember her
i wish i could smell her again, feel her hug, her stories and back scratches at night
YEAST ROLLS!
homemade chex mix! yummmmm
and books....

God and I had a good talk today! We went to the Volunteer cabin and I held nothing back. It was time for a DTR...
you know Define The Relationship talk. real talk time

Basically I recounted how I felt like, with every relationship, He unexpectedly pulled it right out from beneath me. To go into detail would be boring for you, and laborious for me so I will spare you the extra 5inches of screen scrolling.
So I said GOD - sob sob sob - what's the deal man? I am very aware that i don't need other people to find fulfillment! I know, my brain knows, that You alone provide for alllllllll my needs. But I guess moving me away from my brother, then dad, then sister relationally proves the point to my heart huh? Yea and the permanent removal of mom does FOR SURE

I digress, i know that was borderline T.M.I.

God spoke to me though, as I was sitting on the sink in the cabin bathroom, with the toilet paper in my hands, and the trashcan at my feet during this tearful convo.
He said "My Child, Job wrote: I know that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted; Trust Me." "ok" "Use your season at CC right know to draw strength from me, let me be Your lover, I know the desires of your heart." "ok"..."BUT GOD...its too hard!!!!!!! its SO hard being backwards from the norm. what the crap this new job might look and sound easy, but you try living in the middle of woods, with all you closest friends at least an hour away, or over seas!!" "Trust Me." Secretly, I think He really was saying...I love you, but shut up! 

Finally, after I talked all my sinful selfishness out loud to Him, I settled down and received a text from my dearest twin. she wrote: I Believe God has made you to be a missionary and right now, cc is your mission field. Missionaries are sometimes isolated from many people, but they can be so close to God at that time. I love you, and I know that God is pleased with you!

Well that started me on a whole new nose blowing tissue fit! Thanks Eliza, but for real, that was so timely. God is so faithful like that.

So in conclusion I'm sticking to my original plan of waiting, even til the last second, on decision making because sometimes that exactly how God plans things.

Then I ran up the driveway to clear my sinuses and puffy eyeballs...
the song i think by Chris Rice or Bebo Norman....or Micheal W. Smith, I dont really remember, came to mind: I just want to be with you. I want this waiting to be over. Just want to be with you, It helps to know the day is getting closer. It was comforting.

I did try and petition God to take me by His side right now. That wasn't received well... I suppose that was actually a selfish request!

However, I am exhausted now and truly spiritually empowered(if not emotionally) by God to stick to this path, this extra-ordinary path marked for me.
 Lately too God gave me this verse that stuck with me. 2 Corinthians 3:2-3
"You are our letter, written in our hearts, known and read by all men; being manifested that you are a letter of Christ, cared for by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the Living God, not on tablets of stone, but on Human Hearts."

I love it.

Perhaps... I guess, this is the time in my life where He is writing one of His "letters" on my heart. Oh I pray that it would be so.