Two Thousand Eleven

"Then Job answered the Lord and said, 'I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted. 

Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?

Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.

Hear, now, and I will speak;

I will ask You, and You instruct me.

I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear,

But now my eye sees You;

Therefore I retract,

And I repent in dust and ashes."

-Job 42:1-6

The word(s) of the year for 2011:

JOY

LETTING GO

TRUST

Now usually people can summarize their meaningful word of the year in....one word. However, for me it's a combination of words that represent what God has taught me over the past week. I mean, in her movie, Julia Roberts even had three words for her year of traveling... except she turned to Hinduism instead of God, and she didn't really live a morally upstanding life... But! Eat, Pray, Love. Three nice, pretty words. Mine, well, mine aren't that concise. 

First Joy: my friend during a prayer time this week in Colorado shared with me that she felt like this year would be a year of Joy for me. Joy in the Lord. I'm naturally a pretty cheerful person...but Joy, that's pure. That's an essences that flows from your soul and is found when one fellowships daily with the Lord. 

Second Letting Go: this came to me when, in the Prayer Chapel, I sat alone with God. I was in turmoil and I distinctly remember hearing, Let Go. My dad and my sister also counseled me with those same words. 

Third Trust: this correlates with Letting Go, but I need to say Trust God to myself to reinforce my resignation of my will to Him. I even have a box which I painted and inside I put the majors things I worry about, and in leaving those things to God by placing them inside the box, I have a visual reminder to Trust God.

 I think, because a lot of huge changes have occurred in the last 6 years I copped by planning. To feel secure and really, in control, I constantly planned out the next few steps for my life. There was a curious trend though that became very apparent to me. None of the plans ever came to fruition. This reality didn't really hit me until about three days ago. During a worship and prayer time one night at Spring Canyon I realized my plans were pointless, my stress was unnecessary, and my security is found in God, not my strength. Thus, through many tears I now understand what Job is saying :'Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Hear, now, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You instruct me.'

I will ask God, He will instruct me. Corina shared an analogy with me. When I try to tell directions to a friend I don't just say okay start in Blowing Rock, and end up at my house in Boone. I give them step by step, turn left here, drive on this road then turn right etc etc. God doesn't instruct His children all the same way. Some people I've tried to compare myself to have been given all the directions at once from God. For me, I don't even know my destination. Only that I can hold God's hand in the darkness and right at the moment I need to turn, He will tell me. 

In 2010 I thought I had Joy, but I was really so confused about my long term direction that I worried more than anything. I found contentment in the tasks God gave me, but I would also try to look ahead and discern through the darkness what to do next month. I know now that Joy is experienced by not fretting about tomorrow. Listening to God for the task of the day and leaving the planning to Him. Joy is experienced even more once I have learned to let go.