7 days

I arrived 7 days ago. So far i'm full of thoughts. That sounds fairly normal right? Yea, but these are deep God thoughts, and to be quite honest, doubts are laced in there too. IDK. These are some of the highlights for me this week:

We can only give away what we ourselves have.
i seriously need to learn to receive from the Lord again.
Vulnerability is key.
And vulnerability is sucky.
Also, community is what my heart aches for... Consistency.
It is not about ability, but about character.
I like to bake as a way to de-stress, and give to others.
Serving people is in my nature. Ex. fixing food and cleaning dishes.
I'm reeling at the moment from the magnitude of the impending commitment.
I do not want to date unless it's for keeps.
I want to be read aloud to.
I need non sexual physical touch daily.
Exercise is one way to maintain emotional stability for me.
I like standing on couches, and then ninja jumping off of them.
I can eat a lot of dark chocolate.
I fall asleep every time I watch "Inception"... which can be a little trippy.
Driving on the left side of the road is freaky.
New Zealand beach water is frigid, yet invigorating.
Its time to just soak in Poppa's presence.
I need more. MORE GOD.
I'm resigned.
I miss the smell of my pillow and the company of my twin.
I want to kiss my nephews faces.
I'd like to star gaze.
I am surrounded by beautiful people.
I don't even know what's going on, but God is intricate, tender and in a good mood.
Europeans like the name Ruby.
Testimonies are raw, and mine is complicated to say the least.
Black coffee is a lovely thing.
Like I said, I need more, MORE GOD.

Thumbs up

This morning I slipped down further under the covers, cuddled into my pillows and said to myself: "If I go back to sleep time will stand still and I will be fine. The world will be well and I can spend undetermined amounts of time with everyone I love. Mmkay good. Zzzzzz"

When I woke from my dozing I noticed it was still brighter outside and the coffee brewing aroma was wafting in the window. "Oh my," I thought " real life time, real time... and this cozy room of mine will be vacant in three days. Yes, and this is what I planned."

Frequently over the past few days I've had moments of gut twisting panic. Not really a terrorized panic, but a "Holy, I'm going to be in New Zealand for a long time. A long time. I am going to be entering into a whole nother world. I am going to be a responsible adult. I am going to be someone some other ones look up to. Oh my."

And Jesus says: "Yep. It's going to be grand. YEA! Here, take my hand mydear, lean on my shoulder and just smile."

He says: "I like your style. The way you have chosen to trust me and live in the present. You are doing a lovely job of loving on the family and friends that are important to your heart. I like how you're letting the next season ahead of you not daunt you and compromise your peaceful heart."

(It wasn't always that way, this summer He and I had to have conversations about not freaking out, so that peaceful heart statement has been a long time comin'.)

Also He told me: "You are going to experience me in a deep way. Just remain surrendered and dont let your mind, your logic interfere. I wanna show you an amazingly lovely, deep part of me. I told you that you are like a dazzling jewel, catching glimmers of light and glittering to the world because of you are meant to be multi-dimensional. But you only become that way because I am that way first. Come, take my hand and let me show you the secret chambers in my heart."

Doesn't that sound like the most tender, romantic invitation EVER?! I think so. I'm inclined to accept. So! Here we go! Me and Jesus, hand and hand, together.

And God is saying - you go little lady, go and experience Me and My Son. You got my thumbs up!:)

This would be me, at 11.

Thanks Pops!

Presh

Eliza and I love watching the children run around everywhere. From their cute little chubby legs poking out of a onesie, to pushing a little mini grocery cart around EarthFare, to walking around with legit pirate make up on with her flowery poof dress. LOVE IT. No wonder Jesus called the little children to HIm, they are irresistable and captivating. They are cute and cuddly, and hysterical! Their adult mannerisms are the BEST and when they look like little men or little ladies it's PRESH.

some photos of my favorite children from around the world:)

I got to dance and sing and twirl around
with these beautiful girls 

We loved on abandoned Morrocan
babies, they'll melt your heart!

Little Punk. haha He did not want to be on that ride 

That kid just ate prolly a dozen of those purple figs. His
Mom kept shovling them in! SO funny

This is little buddy. All he would do was scream,
or sleep. Yay naps!

Joseph! Most easy going kiddo ever.

Beautiful innocent Joy

OH, their eyes. so captivating!

Missionary kids are so friendly. We had good times
together in the desert.

J-Man liked playing with my hoodie:) Hoodie dance!

Super man soccer ball break dancing skillz

Ninja, 4 wk old Julia. and Jman chillin in her crib

Alone time is Lovely time

Cleaning. Catching up on listening to some good jams. Sleeping. Watching Olympians. Writing. Reading. Locking the keys in the car. Oops. Loving sunflowers. Home made granola. Jogging. Dancin. 29 days til take off.

Sweet as Pie

Thankfulness.
It's a bit premature for Thanksgiving pumpkin pie, but not for counting your blessings!

Not in New Zealand:
A fun fact for you today: no Kiwi( New Zealander ) celebrates Novemeber 27th with giant amounts of food and deliscious pumpkin pie. Duh, it's clearly an American Holiday! The grocery stores don't even sell canned pumpkin for easy pie baking! So then today I was thinking, I have 4 weeks left before I leave to staff with YWAM and, wow, I am oh, so thankful for all my blessings. So let's be thankful together shall we?
1.Twin Sister Eliza, she's emotionally supportive in everyway! What a joy to be a twin:) She's irrecplaceable!
2. Being an Aunt. I am loving having time to spend with Tanner and Beth and their three beautiful children before traveling for 7 months. They enrich my life!
3. Having an Aunt Libby. She's a world traveler, and one of the most generous women I've ever met. She's a fun, funny, caring friend to me as well.
4. Snapping Green Beans. Dad brought home 20lbs of beans and it's been great watching the Olympics, thinking and talking with Jesus while working simplistically with my hands.
5. Art. I'm collaging and drawing and painting and it's been settling to process thoughts and revelations while creating beautiful, God inspired creations.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

Push Yourself:

Since watching the world reknown athletes perform in the London Olympics I've really been convicted to push myself and have more discipline in my life. I went on a run with my sister the other morning, inspired by the olympians, HA i am SO sore from that "epic run" pretending I was an olympian:) However, for this last month at home God's reminding me to rest in Him and really push harder into my relationship with Him too. Some things you can pray for:
*Finances. I'm halfway there! I still need $4000
*That I can hear God's voice clearly
 *Fellow staff members. Pray we can quickly become a tight knit family durning staff training. To learn a little about them check out:  http://www.ywamoxford.org/backpackers/school-staff/

Thanks for your prayer, financial and emotional support! You all are HUGE blessings. I am very thankful for you!

Woot woot!

It's Offical!

I am Backpacker Discipleship Training School Staff 2012-2013 

WOOT WOOT!

hELLO nEW zEALAND: 
Thank you for your prayers. That's all I want to emphasize today. You all are my support group, my best friends, and my family. Without you all I would be lonely and one deminsional and rather dull! Of course Jesus is my main man and He is what fulfills my every need, but you all enrich my life! So you all are the first to know that I'm saying "Hello New Zealand!" again September 1st 2012!

pREP tIME:

During the next two months I will be preparing for my next adventure in leadership. August 30th is when I fly back to Oxford, New zealand and staff training begins September 2nd. Please pray for:
*Visa (favor with NZ immagration as I apply for a 2 year Missionary work visa)
*Funds (I need to raise a total of $7000 and I already have $1000! PTL! {praise the Lord})
*Godly Leadership mindset (I'm seeking God for guidance and grace and strength to be in this leadership position for the next 6 months)
*Outreach exstention (The school leader is seriously considering extending outreach phase for another month. I would lead a team for 3 months and fly home April 1st if that happens)


I'll keep y'all updated, in the loop, and tell some funny stories too! This is just the begining of a new season, thanks for being apart.

Confessions of Laughing Cow

SO, it's July.
Hello!
June was busy and fun and summery!

I'm working in the kitchen at Cherokee Cove this summer and there a few things you may not know about this type of work.

1. It's hot and lots of dishes abounding. Dishes = character building

2. You never quite know how many people will show up for any particular meal. Its the nature of this type of conference center which has open doors and a big heart to serve...so kitchen staff get real good at "wingin' it!"

3. Don't put cooking wine in a pan that's hot and has hot olive oil in it. Callie helped us figure this one out. It will flame up about a foot and continually burn, a giant pillar of fire, until completely removed from the burner! We were astonished! And you might pee your pants laughing like I did. In times of peril I die laughing. I need to work on that.

4. Strawberries whiten your teeth. Caroline and I recycle the strawberry tops from the fruit salad and have all natural whitening times. People may stare, but you will save money!

5. Callie has a giant heart, and she feels for every dying star that shoots across the night sky! Callie and Caroline and I were stare gazing one night after closing down the kitchen, and what we want to know it how come the constellations never die? And how are stars born? Also, is it a romantic or money wasting idea to name a star after your soul mate? And, we also talked about how moon dust is very very sharp. Astronauts have a hard time with that when breathing in their space ships.

6. Callie, Marj, Steph, Kenzie and I are all of Native American Decent. "HOW" Once we discovered this on morning, a tribute to the tribes of our fathers was born and consequently we have Indian names. In order: Mighty Moonshine, Silk Face, Doe eyes(or froggy frog eyes,) Flopping Lark and Laughing Cow. "HOW HO HOW" (that means I love you.) We have a Cherokee word of the day (even though I have Black Foot in my blood) and hold pow wows. This is what keeps the kitchen exciting. "HOW HOW" (that means goodbye)

7. Callie had a moment of panic when she was trying to burn a napkin with a tick in it. I suggested lighting a toothpick on fire from the pilot lights on the stove and then going outside to burn the nasty little guy. Well...she went directly to the stove, the napkin caught on fire and, realizing she was about to get burned, threw the flaming napkin into the trash can! I was saying NO! dont throw it in there, and she paused, looked at me, started laughing and grabbed a bowl. She then proceeded to dump bowl fulls of water into the trashcan. Oh my gosh I died!! Sooo funny! And thankfully no fire damage:)

8. I continually feel bad for the Uphill youth who have to help me fix breakfast... I am not a morning person. NEVER. It's not a peppy kitchen for me until about 9/10am. No amount of hugs or cups of coffee or smiling people will change the fact that I prefer to have a good hour to wake up alone, real close to Jesus reading His word, before seeing people. Having to be ready and cooking around 6:45 am is painful for me! Everyone is so gracious though. The next job I get I'm making sure it's not people intensive til after 11am.

9. Singing...and dancing is common. Beat boxing is routine.

10. We have really good talk times while chopping food, baking granola, sauteing veggies, washing dishes. God is so interesting and He's ever present in the kitchen. I love it.

Mighty Moonshine, Laughing Cow. Chiefs of the Kitchen "HOW"